# Destiny Can Bite Me: A sardonic urban vampire fantasy with blood, banter, and very bad decisions. (Fang & Loathing), Vol. 1

By **Jon Smith**

- ISBN-13: 9781916970182
- Publisher: Balkon Media
- Pages: 290
- Published: 29 Sep 2025
- Language: en
- Categories: Fantasy, Satire, Humorous, Literature & Fiction, Humor & Satire, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Paranormal & Urban

## About this book

Every prophecy needs a villain.
This one got a sarcastic vampire with a bad attitude.

Vincent Lupo is a jaded, wine-soaked immortal just trying to finish writing his latest smutty novel and avoid the people he’s wronged—magical or otherwise.

Then a severed head turns up in his fridge, branded with an invocation sigil and whispering lines from a play he wrote a century ago. A play the wrong people believe is prophecy.

Now Vincent’s neck-deep in death cults, cursed scripts, and a once-devoted mortal aide who’s now a cult leader hellbent on crafting his own narrative—and casting Vincent as the unwilling Bloodbard at centre stage.

He’s not a hero. He’s just immortal, inconveniently famous in the wrong circles, and really bad at staying uninvolved.

The prophecy wants him bled dry.

Vincent wants a drink.

Only one of them gets what they want.
A sardonic urban fantasy of blood, banter, and very bad decisions.

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